Stick with me and buckle up.
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.” (2 Timothy 3:16)
“The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever.” (Isaiah 40:8)
“The Old Testament in Hebrew (which was the native language of the people of God of old), and the New Testament in Greek (which, at the time of the writing of it, was most generally known to the nations), being immediately inspired by God, and, by his singular care and providence, kept pure in all ages, are therefore authentical; so as, in all controversies of religion, the church is finally to appeal unto them. But, because these original tongues are not known to all the people of God, who have right unto, and interest in the Scriptures, and are commanded, in the fear of God, to read and search them, therefore they are to be translated into the vulgar language of every nation unto which they come, that, the Word of God dwelling plentifully in all, they may worship him in an acceptable manner; and, through patience and comfort of the Scriptures, may have hope.The infallible rule of interpretation of Scripture is the Scripture itself: and therefore, when there is a question about the true and full sense of any Scripture (which is not manifold, but one), it must be searched and known by other places that speak more clearly. The supreme judge by which all controversies of religion are to be determined, and all decrees of councils, opinions of ancient writers, doctrines of men, and private spirits, are to be examined, and in whose sentence we are to rest, can be no other but the Holy Spirit speaking in the Scripture.” (Westminster Confession of Faith, Chapter 1: Of the Holy Scripture)
Early 2025 I learned that the Old Testament was not compiled and assimilated in written form until the fifth century BC. It should make sense. The Old Testament is a collection of eastern religious writings that are centered around what was previously oral tradition. If taken at face value, Moses descended from Mt. Sinai with stone tablets containing the 10 Words (not written out sentences), written by the finger of God (Exodus 31). He didn’t walk around with an iPad or even a spiral bound notebook to jot down the law as it was dictated by God. Realizing this, as silly as it may sound, made me angry. I was ready to walk away from the faith with which I was already reckoning because I felt lied to. I was taught from an early age that Moses wrote the Torah (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy). That the book of Job is one of the earliest books written. After all, Job’s homeland of Uz was mentioned in Genesis! But it was just an oral tradition, eventually written down.
If I was lied to about the authorship of the Bible- what else was I misled about? I was taught that because scripture is the word of God, it was given to his chosen people in their time. I wanted to throw it all down in frustration and walk away. Get clean air. What was real? What was true?
Something so trivial as dates around the writing of an ancient text may not seem like much to someone unfamiliar with the Evangelical world, but to me it was just another stab in the back. Another thing that I was misled about. Another selective truth. Anagen told me in the weeks that followed that he understood my hurt, and that he thought Jesus was big enough to hear my hurt and sit with my wrestling. He later told me that he wondered if that would be the thing that made me walk away from Christianity for good.
In truth, it almost did. I was suffering and hurting. Frustrated. Searching for what was true. I saw scripture used to subjugate real people in the world around me. Weren’t all people image bearers of God?
In evangelical circles (my specific experiences are the PCA and SBC) the inerrancy of scripture is at the center of faith. All scripture (current 66 books as selected during the era of the Reformation) is entirely true and outlines exactly how believers of God are to live. To question scripture is to question God. The word of God is infallible (according to evangelicals) and inerrant. Pure, holy, and right. Evangelicals teach that scripture should be read literally and scripture used to interpret all other scripture. They like to use it as a direct application to the world (read: America) today. But there are a few problems that are overlooked. The old testament, in its original form, is not written for a 21st century audience. It was written as an eastern text for eastern peoples.
Exploring the history and context of the Old Testament as guided by the BEMA podcast gave me my first opportunity, at age 30, to actually dive into scripture using the eastern, Jewish lens to read the words. In Genesis when YHWH gives a name to his chosen family, he names them Israel. A name that means “to struggle with El (God)”. I had lots of questions and wanted answers from God. They are big enough to handle my wrestlings.
So, I dove in with curiosity. And the God I found in the Old Testament was not an angry, vengeful God. Not a God in opposition to the person Jesus is in the New Testament. I found a loving God who looks out for the alien, orphan, and widow. A God who saw Abram’s integrity (to marry his barren niece) in Genesis 11 and chose him to bless all peoples. A God who saw Hagar in the desert and comforted her. Provided for her. A God who saw the oppression of the foreigner and took action to rescue.
Marty Solomon (BEMA) talks about how in the western world we ask the questions “what happened? When? How?” rather than taking the eastern posture of asking “what does this scripture tell us about God?” I was able to see the beauty and the focus of the creation narrative (Rest/Sabbath) rather than a prescribed series of events. What does it matter if the Noah flood actually happened exactly as it was presented, when instead the purpose of the story is that its a re-telling of the creation narrative and the focus is the Ruah (breath) of God going out because he remembered Noah (Genesis 8:1).
I finally gave myself permission to wrestle with the problems in scripture. In truth there are MANY problems in the Old and New Testaments. But that’s the point! I feel convicted that God wants us to wrestle with Them. The Bible is riddled with stories that don’t make sense (see Lot and his daughters!) and as modern readers I believe that we have to hold the tension that the Israelite writers may have had some agenda when writing about other peoples (again, see the story of Lot and his daughters!).
I gave myself freedom to read this book as just that: a book. Today I continue to read with curiosity, and a lens of skepticism. But I see a God who is willing to engage with my questions and I feel God’s excitement when I find problems with the text. I no longer am bound by the evangelical structure that deems all scripture as perfect and without error. The same structure that deems at seemingly random those texts that are descriptive versus prescriptive (specifically when it benefits men or excludes the kingdom of God from any peoples who might be “other”).
I am free to breathe and see the trueness of God in words assimilated by mere humans. God is big enough to shine through the mess humans have made of their word.