Over the last 10 years the term “Deconstruction” within Evangelical circles is a dirty word. It’s viewed as denoting walking away from God and taking a sinful, prideful posture.
As someone who has deconstructed their evangelical, Christian faith, I can say with absolute conviction that deconstruction isn’t sexy. The awareness that standard teachings presented as the right way to live and believe by Evangelical leaders may not follow the teachings of Jesus is a painful process. There is an environment within many American Christian circles that puts differing beliefs into boxes and allows others to deem fellow Christians as lesser. My experience within the PCA was that any denominations who did not agree with Calvinism were somehow misled and inferior. I have encountered many Baptists in my lifetime who were more than happy to inform me that my baptism as an infant didn’t count, and that if I truly made a profession of faith the right thing to do would be baptism as a believer.
In homeschooling and private christian school I was taught apologetics, and how to defend what was the correct interpretation of scripture (read: conservative, reformed, calvinistic view). I was taught, in depth, in elementary school (homeschooled) about the various Christian denominations, but with the twisted element of why denominations other than the reformed presbyterian were wrong.
When I was 9 my beloved aunt mentioned evolution of various species and I was horrified. I immediately assumed that she was not a christian and thus, going to hell. What was worse, in my sheltered opinion, was that when we went to church with her later that year during a visit, her pastor was a woman. I abstained from communion at her church service because I thought it was wrong to open to table to all believers, and have communion administered by a female clergy member. That little Methodist church was full of kind, loving people (my aunt included), but I could not see that they loved Jesus and were devout Christians merely because they didn’t follow the prescription that I was steeped in.
My housemate during my senior year of college was a devout catholic. We attended a Baptist University, and she endured endless taunting and backhanded comments from fellow students and professors. She was a fellow Mathematics major and there was one particularly nasty Euclidian Geometry class in which our professor spent most of the class making jabs at the Catholic church for their “limited” and “incorrect” views regarding Saints (you may be thinking, “what does that have to do with Geometry?” Answer: it doesn’t). We left that class with Imani* in tears. She was a devoted Christian who showed kindness to anyone she encountered. She invited me to mass with her, and it was an incredible experience. I wrestled with and came to terms with the idea that she could be a saved person who follows Jesus, just as I was, and be Catholic. Looking back I see how my friendship with Imani helped to prod me toward accepting variations in beliefs within the Christian faith. Witnessing her experience and steadfastness in her faith affirmed for me that we as Christians do not have to be in lockstep to live out the Kingdom of God on Earth as it is in Heaven.
I propose that Jesus would support deconstruction. Much of Jesus’ teaching life was spent among Jewish peoples saying “you have heard it said, but I say to you…”. Jesus took the time to reinterpret and reshape the Jewish law/faith to bring a deeper understanding of what Jesus as God wanted in faith from followers of Christ. Jesus wanted people to break down and rebuild the teachings that they deeply held. God sent themself to earth to show that breaking down and rebuilding faith is not a sin, but rather a way to better know and understand who they are and how they care about their creation.
Deconstruction isn’t sexy. It’s not just a buzz wordy trend. It is a painful experience in which one wrestles with the very core of their faith and parses through every element comparing what scripture says to the teachings they have internalized for years. Reconstruction pairs with deconstruction in my particular experience. I know that this is not every person’s experience. Rather than pushing those who choose to deconstruct aside as sinners who never knew God to begin with, perhaps the Evangelical church should see them in the eyes of Jesus. See them as those who are truly following Jesus’ teachings, and trying to discern what he is saying. For they have “heard it said, but he says to you…”.
*Note- names have been changed to protect the identity of those described.
Author’s note: I wrote this while listening to The Devils, by Joe Abercrombie